Tuesday, August 23, 2011


There are many people in my life who, while visiting my home, claim they are in "HeatherWorld."
My home, my world is a sanctuary.  It is also a place of healing. Greenman and I are both healers. We are conscious of the energy we create in our home. I have been told often by people they needed to stop by to get some "good energy." Recently a friend said she was "free to be" who she is/wants to be when she is here. It made me think. Yes my home is a place to be free and yourself because that is who WE are.
But many people do not live their lives freely. They do what people "expect of them," they live by "other people's rules." 

My Greenman and I are co creating our lives. We are playing by OUR rules. We were at a local poly meeting and decided to order dessert, then realized that we were not satisfied and ordered an appetizer. Others at our table had ordered food before us. We had finished our dessert and our appetizers arrived as their food did. A woman commented that we were smart and why not order dessert first?  I explained to her that she was used to following other peoples rules. I, on the other hand, live by my own rules. I do what is best for ME, and now that includes my family. 

I mentioned we were at a Poly gathering. This is another place in my life where I do not "follow the rules."  My Greenman and I are Polyamorous. I like the way that Wikipedia defines it. "Polyamory, often abbreviated as poly, often described as consensual, ethical, or responsible non-monogamy." This does NOT mean we sleep around, we are NOT swingers.  If we were to have a relationship outside of our relationship it would be thoroughly discussed, with all parties. We have a healthy sex life and communicate our needs. A third would not be about sex but a relationship.
I like what Greenman recently posted about our relationship: we are busy preparing for the birth of our daughter, we are happy and not looking for a third, we are open to the possibility. I think that perfectly describes our relationship! We are ridiculously happy. But while I love him and can not imagine my life without him, I know that I have room for love and sharing love. Also as a soon to be divorcee (woo hoo) I know that love is flexible. My son was conceived and born with love. I loved his father dearly, but we have grown apart.

I am glad that Greenman and I have so much in common and that we have similar goals. We are co creating our world together. Which is why I know that one day we will have a third in our life, with two powerful people co creating our world with such powerful energies combining nothing stands in our way :)  We need to come up with a new name for our Sanctuary... its not just "HeatherWorld" anymore. 

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Meet My Family

Me and Avalon
"Family," that is such an interesting word. It usually denotes parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins and the like including your "family."
I do not speak to the man who helped bring me into this world. He did the best he could but that was not enough  for the person I have become. I am better in my world without him. Its funny because I have a large "family" but my Aunt Marianne is more like a second mother and best friend to me. Her family, Uncle Ray, and my cousins, Amber and Ian are the only ones I consider when I think of family. My Aunt has been with me through every crisis I have had in my life. She has been there to support me in all ways. She has been the "wind beneath my wings" since the death of my Mother, her Sister. The rest of my "family" I have little or no contact with, the absence of their drama and judgment is comforting. With the birth of my daughter coming many have started to reenter my life. I am nervous about this but welcome their love and support. 

I have dear friends that are more like sisters to me than the sister who shares blood with me. My dearest friend Amy just lost her baby Karma. I wanted nothing but to be there with her. We do not see each other enough or talk to each other enough but our friendship is strong. With the upcoming birth of my daughter I want her there. Distance separates us but I miss her daily.

There are others in my Life that I treasure. I have GREAT friends! They are the kind of friends that you drop everything for, which is why they are still in my life. I have one friend who said "I saw your post 'I have 70 pounds of peaches'  that is a friend emergency and I am here." We blanched, cut and jammed peaches for HOURS.  I have friends here in Rochester, and 2 friends in NJ and others over the country! Some of them are closer than any family I have had. I know that when this little girl comes her Auntie Kelly will rock her and hold her and love her! I know that when she starts toddling around Chloe will help her find fairies. I know that I will be able to work semi part time because someone will always be willing to hold my baby for an hour or two and love her as we do. I live in a home because I have a wonderful friend who was able to help provide me with such. Have I ever mentioned that I am Blessed??
But my immediate family consists of my Greenman, our furbabies and our Unborn Daughter, oh yeah and that teenager who, lives with his father and is VERY much a teenager! My lovely son and I do not always see things the same way. His father always tells him... "well you know... your Mom is 'different.'" We look forward to his visits... mostly. His latest visit has been fun as he helped prepare for the birth of his sister.

My Greenman
My Greenman, Michael, is very much like me. He has disowned most of his family and we share the comfort in the lack of communication with our families. It is wonderful to have a partner who has the same feelings as I do. We have similar beliefs and values. We look forward to our future together and have a gazillion goals that we strive for daily. We can do anything as long as we do it together.

My Beautiful Son, Tyler
Tyler: My soon to be 16 year old son is growing up. He is very much like his father in his everyday actions, but then he lives with his father too. I love my son more than he will ever know and am comforted in the fact that he may even recognize that... in about 5 years lol. He is a strong headed, smart boy, who hates mornings... all just like his Mom :) I am proud of my son. I love him and wish only for more time with him.

Our furbabies are:
Mimzy: our 6 year old Black lab. She also responds to the name "Mommy's Girl", because she is just that. My sweet puppy has gotten fairly grey since I brought home our newest addition, Montana, and I am sure when our daughter arrives more grey will appear. She is wonderfully protective and such a loving dog. I rescued her too, as she rescued me.

Montana: our 1 year old tiger, small horse, or Great Dane Puppy (call her what you will). We adopted her from our local shelter and she has become Michael's dog. She worships him in only the way a dog can. What is even neater is Montana is Michael's first dog... you know what they say... "Go big or go home!" ;)

Sparrow: My garden protector whom has already made a few guest appearances in this blog. He is an amazing mouser also. He is the hunter in our group.

Ji Ji 
JiJi: who is Sparrows brother. My beloved JiJi disappeared for a year and came back to use beaten up, with a broken but healed leg (now deformed) and is sweeter than ever and just wants to be loved. We indulge him CONSTANTLY :)

Chulac: who I have nicknamed Choochlac. He was Michael's cat (who am I kidding... he still only likes Michael lol) He is our beautiful long haired boy. He is learning to tolerate me and my affection because I feed him too. Right now he is loving the freedom to roam outside and comes in briefly to eat.

Romeo: is our roommates new cat but he is loving and sweet and a new addition to our "family"

Be Blessed <3

Thursday, August 18, 2011

the way life should be...

Dragon Ritual Drummers
Recently my boys and I attended a Pagan Festival. There should have been  a gazillion people there... the Dragon Ritual Drummers were performing!
http://www.dragonritualdrummers.com/ )
The tickets were only $5 in advance! It was a beautiful day in a beautiful place. The day started out rough (teenagers that were not excited about waking up before noon can sometimes have an attitude) but with such good energy at the festival even their moods could not remain negative :) There were not as many people there as we expected but all the people there were awesome.

The Pagan community can be cliquish and full of rumors unfortunately and I braced myself and wrapped myself in protective layers... and did not need to! We had such a wonderful time! We played the drums that I made myself, hung out with some of my favoritest little people in the world,  (who I had not seen in TOOO long), had various body parts painted, saw lots of wonderful people, saw performances by belly-dancers, had hula hoop lessons, and then the Dragon Ritual Drummers perform!  We also learned of a local drumming circle that we could almost WALK TO! Our drums will get much more use now!
This is RJ, my 2nd son
I love that my big boys inspired the little one :)
The BOYS are Hula Hooping! :)

Who doesn't like to be Painted?? She was sooo good!
Mom asked for her to take her time. Caitlyn sat for a good 30
minutes just enjoying being painted!!!

While the Dragon Ritual Drummers were performing my dearest friend Lynnie said "Bare that belly, I'm getting my paints!" She was inspired! Far be it from me to stop an artist when she is inspired! ;)
Lynnie is a true artist whose preferred canvas is the human body. She has spoiled me by painting my Baby Bump before. I would sit for her EVERYDAY if I could! She has a wonderful business: http://www.artful-body.com/  or on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Artful-Body/333397519584?sk=wall&filter=2 She can be found at all kinds of local festivals. She is also available for all kinds of events ;) Here are some pictures of the next THREE hours of painting :)

This is my favorite picture from the day,
wish Michael's head was not
chopped off! 

Inspired by the music! :)
What are you painting??? lol She was asked that
a 100 times!!!!
 While we were sitting there unfortunately the Drumming ended, but we were visited by many of the folk that had attended the festival. She was asked at least a hundred times... "What are you painting??" She kept saying "I'm not sure yet. I was just inspired!"  It was such a wonderful day! Wonderful environment, good friends, drumming, singing, and PAINTING!

Adding the dark Celtic swirls

Beautiful Celtic Mandala Close up!
       Having my "Baby Bump" painted is such a beautiful way to honor both Mom and baby! It was truly a sacred process and I was Blessed in so many ways that day! I am loving Co-Creating my Life with the Lord, Lady, My Greenman, My Daughter and I. The surprises that come or way are beautiful and sacred. We are Blessed!
I love this picture. The smile is for Daddy Greenman,
who is taking the picture.

Be Blessed Dear Ones <3

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

We be Jammin

Ok. I have a new obsession... Making Jam! Actually, two years ago my friend Kelley started it by teaching me how to make "freezer jam". Then last year my friend Liz fueled it and we made more. My freezer still has Jam though and I wanted to make Jam like my Mother did! Yes I am proud to say I am becoming like my Mother :) I can still remember the day that we opened up her last jar of relish (grandma cried.)

But back to now... I decided this year I wanted to start canning for real... not have jars stored in my freezer but in my basement! I started scouring the internet for ideas and recipes. (Hello, my name is Heather and I am a Pinterest Addict)

So many of the recipes have a ridiculous amount of sugar! I found recipes to substitute sugar for fake sugar but I was still not satisfied! Ripe fruit does not NEED sugar! No wonder our country is full of obese people! I made one batch of Jam WITH sugar... there is ONE CUP of sugar PER JAR!  Needless to say I had a very hard time finding a recipe that would work. I was frustrated. Then at Walmart of all places, while scouring for small jam jars, I found this:
Ball make a low or no sugar pectin... new this year!!! OK! Now all I needed was fruit!

And this is where the tale begins... ;)
I recommend that when you wish to jam you get the right helpers...
First we started with Picking Blueberries!
Helpers are important!
But make sure they pick more than they eat!

Or Pick any at all! 
 We actually went home with almost 12 pounds of berries!

 Then we made NO sugar Blueberry Jam... here is a step by step:
1. Get your jars ready, cleaned and ready to fill.
2. Puree your fruit. I LOVE my food processer!

4. Constantly stirring add Pectin
3. Simmer on  Stove, add Lemon if called for.

6 .Ladle into jars without spilling on to pregnant belly.
5. Allow to thicken.

8. Place them in the fancy canning pot.

7. Tighten the lids.

9.  Allow to sit in boiling water for allotted time. 

10. Pull out and let cool on the counter for 24 hours. 

So did I mention that help is awesome?? I actually had the help of my Son, my Greenman, my awesome roommate Jessimica, and Kelley (yes the one who started it all.) I am a firm believer in large projects need extra hands. We made 4 huge batches of NO SUGAR jam and one small batch of fully sugared jam. I am proud to say they ALL sealed properly and are now on a shelf with other jams I have made awaiting beautiful tags made with help by the lovely and talented Vickie Porter. http://inmyheadstudios.blogspot.com/
 I have already made Cherry Jam, Blueberry Jam, Strawberry Rhubarb Jam, and plan on making Peach Jam, Apple Butter and canning homemade Salsas from tomatoes and peppers we grew in OUR garden!!! I either picked or purchased the fruit from our Farmers Market too! Right now I am feeling very spoiled in life! :)

Be Blessed <3

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Why? Woman need to love THEMSELVES!

***** WARNING this post has sensitive subject matter *******

Recently in my life a good friend of mine told me that she had been sexually harassed at her job. The worse part of it is that it went on for FIVE years. When it originally started she reported it to her supervisor and it was NOT addressed. He was "warned" and nothing else happened. He started dating the supervisor (or was rumored to) and then my friend felt she could not report it any more. She endured extremely lewd comments and actions for FIVE years because she did not think it would do anything and she was afraid for HER job. Recently this man went on vacation and SEVERAL woman stepped forward with reports of sexual harassment and he was fired. Even after all this, my friend was afraid he would be allowed to return to work!! Her job wrote her up for waiting so long to report it. I hope that it shows her how serious this situation is and that she was never as helpless as she felt.

A fourteen year old friend recently was raped. She claims it was consensual. It makes me sad and ANGRY that a fourteen year old would be approached by a nineteen year old in the first place. It breaks my heart that she thought she needed to have sex to feel loved. 

Two of my friends recently broke up with their respective boyfriends... each for the SECOND time. Both felt the need to return to the abuse they had left. I made one promise to write a letter of all he had done and all that she felt so I could smack her with IT when and if she ever tried to return. 

A person I follow on Twitter recently posted about being told all her life that she "is a nothing". This powerful, strong woman is amazing! but still... 
When you hear these things you start to BELIEVE them!!

I think what aggravates me the most is that we beat ourselves up as woman. I was raised at the tail end of the Super Mom generation. I went to school full time, worked full time, and was a Mom.... and got VERY sick as a result. My body realized that taking over 50 credits in school (I was doing my Doctorate and Masters at the same time), and working over 30 hours a week, did NOT add up to enough sleep time.  I pushed through ALL the warning signs my body gave until it gave out. 
The worst part is... no one pushed me BUT me. I was proving something to the world that did not need proving! We are our worst critics, beat ourselves up the most, and are the worst at believing in ourselves. 

We need to learn to Love OURSELVES!!! I know that this is easier said than done... (HELLO... I was the woman willing to chuck it all last year). I have spent the last year healing, loving myself, and putting myself first. 

My GreenMan and I always say its amazing that we met at all... He had to meet a special woman, get her to agree to be a test patient for him, travel hundreds of miles with her, get invited to the Pagan gathering, and then show up! 
I always tell him... I had to be willing to take the time for ME... to take the time to heal. Yes, that meant learning how to make drums, taking the time to travel, accepting the trip... but ultimately if I had not decided I needed the time to heal and focus on me I would NOT be here today... and this little girl would not be kicking the laptop! ;) I am BREAKING this cycle!!! I will NOT pass this on to my daughter!!!

I  am in such a good space right now... but I CREATED this space, and work on it everyday. I had help... we all need help... so when I began to think of what I could do for these woman I care so much about I created a Love Thyself spell. 
I thought I would share it all with you. Its simple and can be repeated as often as you like. I made up bags with all the ingredients and the printed spell and handed them out to some of my dear friends... I may not be able to make bags for all the woman that read this but at least I can give them the know how ;)

Please know that YOU are special, that YOU are Beautiful, that YOU are part of the Divine, that you are LOVED <3 

YOU are Beautiful, YOU are LOVED, YOU are a daughter of the Goddess, SHE lives inside of YOU. As You LOVE others LOVE YOU more.
What you need:

pink candle
rose petals
rose incense stick
a lighter
best carried out on a Friday (but do any day that you need love)
Rose Quartz

Focus and meditate on your intent
Make the pedals into a circle around the pink candle and light the candle
Light your rose incense stick
Really think off all the things you like about yourself and visualize these nice thoughts entering the candle and being pushed out in to the universe through the flame
Sit and focus on the universe returning this love thrice to you and healing every part of your body, mind and spirit. Repeat these words:

"I am part of the Universe,
I am wonderful outside and in.
I am special unto myself,
So let the love come in.
Negative thoughts, they vanish,
I now toss them out.

Negative feelings, be banished,
Let my love shine out."

Repeat 3-5 times.  Then say So Mote It Be.

Let the Candle extinguish itself if you can.

Carry your Rose Quartz with you knowing that it holds extra love for you from Me and the Lord and Lady
Now, do something special for yourself today
Treat yourself... you deserve it.

Please DO THIS!!! but also Please SHARE this... how nice it would be to share love with other woman and help break the cycle. <3

PLEASE remember ONLY you can let people affect how you feel... do NOT give them power over you!! YOU are a powerful, wonderful, special, beautiful part of the Universe... OWN it! <3
Be Blessed

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Keeping up with the Jones??? Who are they and What do THEY have?

I know I have not written in a while... we have been very busy either working or getting ready for the baby! :)
It is a very exciting time in our lives and we look forward to her arrival!!!
It has also been an expensive endeavor, but then again... not REALLY...
I am a part of a birth board on a popular website. I am watching all these woman get ready for the arrival of their little ones. I was SHOCKED to find woman spending $400 on a DIAPER BAG!!!!
I MIGHT spend $400 TOTAL on preparing for this child! (well not counting diapers)
I am so blessed: My Aunt Mare is buying us the Crib we wanted, My BFF from forever gave us a gift card that covers more than half of the travel system that we want, I have wonderful friends that passed down so many things that I can not list them all here, and I have been thrift store and garage sale shopping all summer! We have very few things left  that we  "need" to purchase.
I was talking to my Doctor (I adore her btw) about all the progress we have been making and the plans and she smiled and said... "and she won't care if she sleeps in a laundry basket." True words. Enough said. :)
If I did not have a Great Dane puppy I think we may have waited on the crib ;)

Sparrow waiting to feel her Kick
My little girl will have SOOO much love... Her father is already reading to her, my animals are cuddling up to my belly showing her love too. THAT is what this child needs.
My daughter will have stars on her ceiling so as she grows her parents will be explaining the constellations to her and how truly vast the Universe is, she will have animals to chase, a garden to help grow, laughter in her life, she will be held "too much", she will be carried by both Mom and Dad in slings (yep he will be a babycarrying Daddy), she will have Fairy Houses and Magick in her life.  Years from now she will know that she is LOVED, not wondering what kind of diaper bag she had.
One of my most treasured memories of my son when he was little was him "reading" "The Giving Tree" back to us. He had heard the story so many times that he could recite it. I am sooo happy that I have kept books from when Tyler was a baby. Some treasured books are signed by his Aunt Laurinda and now will be passed on to this little girl.
Do I want to "keep up with the Jones??" Nah, the Jones can have all their clutter... we are cleaning out our clutter to make more room for Love <3

Be Blessed