Thursday, January 5, 2012


This is a story of my Magickal, Spiritual Journey with my Avalon.

Someone I have come to admire over the last year, Rowan Pendragon (,
announced a new project that she is working on. The Pagan Blog Project. 
(taken from her website)

What is The Pagan Blog Project?   (The Short Answer)
This project is a way to spend a full year dedicating time each week very specifically to studying, reflecting, and sharing your spiritual and magickal path.    The project consists of a single blog post each week posted on your blog each Friday for the year of 2012 that will involve a topic that relates to Paganism, Witchcraft, magick, spirituality, and so on.   You can use your posts to share your views on a topic, to talk about your own personal experiences, or to act as a catalyst to research a subject that you may not know much about and then share what you learn and how you feel about that.  

When I saw Rowan tweet about the project I was intrigued and filed the info away to look at later (having a 10 week old can do that). When I finally did get a chance to read about it I was very excited! I immediately texted my Greenman and asked if we could do this together. He was just as excited as me! So... now on Fridays my blog will be dedicated to the Pagan Blog Project!!!! :) 
This will 1.) get me back to blogging more often and 2.) help me and my Greenman explore our spiritual side together and with others like us!!!!
And the journey starts... 
This week begins with A. Avalon is my A. 
One of the most spiritual thing that has EVER happened to me is meeting my daughter AVALON. 
What most people do not know is that even though she was born only 10 short weeks ago, I met my daughter almost 10 years ago! 
I was sick... working too much, too stressed out, in an abusive relationship, feeling trapped... 
I was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis, an autoimmune disease that was taking the Calcium from the bones and depositing it into my lungs. It was the second autoimmune disease that had tried to ravish my body. 
I was so frustrated! I am a HEALER! Why was I sick?? I began to work on ME again. I started meditating again, taking time out for me, eating healthy, asking my body why it did not recognize itself? As part of taking care of myself I was making time for ME: reading, getting massages, meditating, ect.
I remember reading a book and saw the name Avalon. I remember thinking that is an AMAZING name! Why was it not used as a girl's name?? The next day I got a massage. I was working with an incredible massage therapist that was also working with connecting my mind, body and spirit again. She was working with energy techniques. I went into a meditative state and journeyed during the massage. I went sooo many places. The place that changed my life is what can best be described as a purple planet. It was there where I first met my daughter. She introduced herself and said she was waiting for me. I was blown away. I went to many other places. Just before my session ended. She popped in to say "the name that you picked for me is perfect." 
I knew then that I was going to have a daughter. I just had no idea when.  I talked to my then fiancee  and he was not enthused.  We broke up shortly after that. In the back of my mind Avalon was always there. I dated a few other guys but never saw Avalon's father. I was briefly engaged to a man that I thought was going to be her father, but it did not last. I even dated a guy who wanted to be Avalon's father so badly he tattoo'd her name over his heart! But none of them were right for me. 

Avalon came often into my meditations, into my spiritual practices, she even signed a Spirit Card I had done! I kept wondering how I was supposed to have a child without a partner. She would ask me how long she had to wait in meditations. I was baffled. 
Fast forward almost 5 years. I was living my life for others... well everyone else, truth be told. I was working 5 jobs, living with/for a teenager who hated me and was pushing EVERY button I had. Then I got sick... again. 
I had a hemipeligic migraine. I was sitting in my son's classroom and I thought I was having a stroke. I lost the use of the right side of my body, I could not see, I could not talk. It was SCARY! 

Through my recovery, I decided I was DONE! I was going to heal, I was going to live for me...  I was going to co-create my life with the Lord and Lady!  
I started working less and living more. I finally really started working on ME! I worked on my spiritual practice, on my health, on my life. 
I decided I had waited long enough to make my shaman's drum and the opportunity presented itself almost immediately. This lead to the opportunity to make drums and travel to Bonnaro to help make drums. I decided taking 2 weeks and several weekends off for me was what I needed and I went for it.  It was a spiritual experience that ended at a Solstice Celebration where I met my Greenman. He is  my match. That Samhain he came to visit, Thanksgiving he moved in, we were pregnant by Valentine's Day! My beautiful Avalon was born on October 16, 2011. We have known from the day we found out we were pregnant our beautiful Avalon was coming into the world. We never doubted for a second. 
I was ready. I was co-creating my life with my partner (my Greenman) and the Lord and Lady. 
We are truly Blessed and none of it would have happened if I had not let go of everything and lived for ME. 

Life is Magickal when you actively co-create your life with the Lord and Lady. I am now starting my Magickal Journey with my Greenman and my Avalon. <3

-Blessed Be


  1. Wow, what an amazing journey! Welcome, Little Avalon! What a beautiful name for a beautiful girl! Enjoy you new family - little girls are such a blessing, as I well know, having two myself!

  2. Wow what a wonderful journey and lovely to learn more about you and your family x

  3. Such a beautiful story, and one to treasure and repeat as Avalon grows. Thank you for sharing.

  4. What an inspiring post. Loved reading it.

  5. Thank you for sharing, your story (and Avalon's) reduced me to tears and brought goosebumps to my arms - it's so touching - may you all be blessed by your Lady always x

  6. What an amazing, inspiring journey!

  7. I have been told I was much like Avalon...I didn't come to my Mother during meditations (cuz she didn't meditate) but I tried being born 3 times (by popping up as 3 earlier pregnancies)before she was ready for me. I am still a bit on the stubborn side at getting her to do things she needs to do. And, she still listens...eventually, LOL.

    Thanks for sharing! :)