Daddies

It is a sad commentary on our society that there are advertisements that are designed to tell men they need be fathers.  Donating sperm does not a father make. We do not teach boys to be men; men to be fathers. There are no more rituals for when a boy becomes a man. The coming to age rituals that take place in my neighborhood have been taken over by the gangs. We are going these children such a great disservice when they are so desperate for the acceptance that rape, stealing and even killings have become their coming of age rituals disguised as gang entrance. 

Native American coming to Age ritual

My father became a single father when we were young, but even he had never changed a diaper. He did not know how to communicate with me because that was my Mother's job. It was his job to discipline me. My father did not want my love just my respect and sadly he has neither.
The pagan community, with its focus on rituals, tends to be the exception to this rule. While this is true, there is still a great lack.

I have a dear friend whose partner talked about starting a men's group. (Its funny I remember thinking that I wanted to marry a man like him... and I did!) He talked about the lack of male influences and groups. Also how the recent Wiccan community was very female biased. I realized at that moment also that I must keep my practice balanced.
I have a 16 year old son who has a wonderful father and a good role model. His father does not however share my religious views.  My son's father was raised my a man who taught him "men don't cry" and other such nonsense. I was very Blessed that he let me take the lead in raising our son and learned very quickly that such dogma was nonsense.
I tried doing a coming of age ritual with my then very rebellious 13 year old and he refused. Lucky for me he did not see the other "rituals" that he has learned and he has grown to be a wonderful young man. Now I have a 4 month old daughter who has a wonderful, loving, pagan father. She has participated in many rituals. Some she sleeps/nurses through. When we light the candles on our family altar she gets explanations of all the colors. One day she will confuse some Muggle when they point to Blue and ask her what it is and she 

Wolf Moon 2012

says "East". My wonderful husband is already sharing lore with her as he tells her stories when they cuddle. This project has increased our awareness and increased his story collection! We gave our daughter a name filled with Magick. We started traditions to make sure she grows learning the craft and honoring ways. For example we have a live Yule tree waiting to be planted at Oestara. As she gets older she will be able to pick the planting space. I am very lucky to have found such a wonderful Pagan man but agree with my friend. There needs to be more men groups and more resources. I have found a wonderful resource in Patrick McCleary Have you found any more? What are your thoughts?

Community

I long for community, I dream about community. When I win the lottery I plan to build a community. I don't mean one of those planned communities where all the houses are cookie cutters and no one leaves their house because they are fantically working to buy stuff they are too exhausted to enjoy.
Community to me means a group of like minded individuals. You don't have to be a poly pagan to be in my "group" but acceptance is key. Knowing that being part of our community means chipping in to help everything flow better. Someone needs to watch the kids while others plant, or cook, or hunt, or clean or work (leave me at home with the kids lol).  A place where kids are treasured and nurtured and loved. Where kids work side by side with the adults (to their capacity) learning what work means and what it takes to make our world run.
How different would our world be if we knew what it took to make everything run correctly and you don't eat if you don't plant, weed and harvest?
In my "village" there is enough space between houses that you are comfortable but close enough to call everyone home. A huge fire pit with seating and ritual space should be at the center of our space so gathering is the focus and ritual is a core of our being.
A huge hall so dinners can be shared together as well as celebrations.
I know it sounds like the middle ages. Except I want running water!
More than my physical surroundings the people are the most important. Loving people who understand there is a flow to the universe. To receive you must give.

What does community mean to you?

Chaos

Its amazing how chaos can creep into our lives. I think if you have children it can happen quite easily but it does not take children to make chaos! This week my husbands paycheck bounced. Yes, you read that right. Silly me, thinking we had money, paid bills. Imagine that! I went to do some thrift store shopping (I'm ALLLLL about recycling on many levels) :) and imagine my shock when my card was declined... and then to find out our bank account was SEVERELY negative.
Unfortunatly, we let it affect our mood. Its hard not to. Honestly, I think we are still reeling from it. But it affected us more than we realized I think. Neither one of us got our blogs done. (We found out last Wednesday) We have been stressed out, my neck (where I hold my stress) is a mess, we have been processing the shock.


We were fine though. We actually took my paychecks and surrounded ourselves with friends this weekend and laughed until we cried. It was needed. And then? We did ritual. We regrouped. We centered. We cleared chaos from our lives. We honored. We asked for prosperity.
We can not always control the chaos, but we can control how we let it affect us. We are in control of our reactions and behaviors. We needed extra help so we turned to our practice. I am so glad that I am a Witch and I have tools to get ME back on track. Smudging cleared the negative energy, ritual raised it! Our whole attitude is better and every little thing is gonna be all right!
-Blessed Be